In this photo, I'm turning my head quickly because I was camping and felt Far from Fabulous, to say the least. I felt like the part of the shirt you can read...UGH! I have naturally curly hair, and pre-Flat-iron invention, humidity was my worst enemy. It still is a nemesis of mine, but now that I can hit my bangs with a Flat iron, it helps to maintain a "Hey, it's humid!" kinda day rather than wandering around looking like I got a bad hair cut because back then it Forced my hair to curl up severely. In this photo, I weighed about 127 to 129 pounds and was 19 years old. I thought I was Fat then.
I remember looking at other people's legs sitting next to me and thinking mine looked so huge compared to theirs. Now I see skinny arms and legs that I didn't feel were skinny back then. Was I just hanging out with little thin people? Perhaps, my body image was just simply warped.
I weighed 170 pounds when I graduated high school one year earlier and felt the exact same way. I lost all that weight in one year because I ventured out on my own at 18 and was working two jobs...executive assistant by day and sports bar waitress by night. I ate Fast Food once a day and lost 40 pounds that quickly without even trying. Wish that worked now. lol
Here I am on the beach at the same weight Frantically scrambling to cover up to avoid being photographed. Boy how I wish I had let that photograph happen today.
See what I mean about the bangs/hair?
I wonder today....at 100 pounds heavier, will I recognize that I'm thin when I reach my goals? Has being Fat Fixed what I now recognize was a warped body image of yesteryear?
I hear one thing tonight as I type this post....the words of my mother. She used to say to me, "One day, you're going to wish you were THAT Fat." She was right.
