Saturday, February 21, 2015

Now for a Before Picture - Who is This Person?

This past Fall, I was the Matron of Honor in my baby sister's wedding.  I ran around locating orphaned pieces of china to throw her an eclectic-vintage-style tea party bridal shower. I Figured I would also keep an inventory of all of the pieces to rent out for anybody else wishing to do the same...sort of a party-rental supply, as I couldn't find anybody to rent something similar from.  It took many months of trips to thrift shops, garage sales, estate sales, etc. It contributed to me losing my Focus on dieting so I Felt more comfortable being in a bridesmaid dress in Front of other people and being photographed, but alas, that didn't happen.

Here is, to me, a horrifying photo of me at my largest ever.  My hair, as I mentioned in an earlier post....don't even get me started. I can't believe I paid money for that.  I love my hairstylist to death. I've never had her "do" my hair, only cut and color.

I. DO. NOT. RECOGNIZE. THIS. PERSON. Not even remotely. I felt like I looked a little heavy...until I saw the pictures. I had three different cinching devices on, as nobody apparently sells girdles anymore at the malls. I had on tummy-tucking undies, and a waist cincher, followed up by a full-frontal-low-back shelf bra with boning in it to hold up the huge girls.

I was just talking about this photo with Mr. F and how I had Felt at the time versus seeing it, and he said, "You're lucky because you still have a great ass. You didn't grow one that looked like two animals wrestling under a blanket when you walk....because some people get those penguin butts or shelf know a butt that has disappeared to two tiny indiscriminate cheeks hangin' low or one so large you could put a vase on it. Yours still has a nice shape. " Bless his heart? He's an ass man? I think the translation is that I've mostly gained weight in a proportionate way over the years.  It didn't all go to my ass. lol

Anyway, I decided to share this photo as my before photo.  It's the only one I have of me at my heaviest, as I avoid the camera like the plague, which I stupidly did when I was thin and thought I was Fat as well, as I covered in a previous post here titled My Momma Was Right.  

This is an aside, but for some reason - EVERY - SINGLE - TIME - I pay to get my hair done by ANYBODY, I walk out with the opposite of what I shared in pictures.  This was the First time I had asked this particular hairstylist to give me an updo, and she admitted she doesn't usually do them as we were getting our hair done, but I've seen many Folks over the years, even in other states for out-of-state weddings, and I get the same deal. I'll never Forget the one woman in Chicago who wouldn't even hit my hair with a curling iron and said "I prefer natural styles." as I requested she Fix my bangs. I was horrified, but the time of physically getting ready for the actual wedding is NOT the time to discover these things about people. I give up. At the age of 45 I just have to accept that NOBODY will experiment with my hair or are too afraid of it to do so. I'll do it myself next time. It'll look better.

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